I call myself an Absurdist these days. For one, I really like the word “Absurdist,” and I especially like capitalizing it. It makes me feel like some sort of Metaphysical Magician, like my dendrites are juggling contradictory ideas at all times. That’s how my mind works–cyclically aware of where and how I am living for and against my convictions in seemingly infinite (but mathematically, finite) ways. People say having convictions and living by them is so honorable, but I just don’t fully resonate with that. I say flubbing or contradicting my conviction, noticing that, spotlighting that, and limply presenting that to the public is what says more about who I am both as a part of the humanity blob and as an individual mass of human.